Is the fat sticking to you really inevitable?
Last updated 6/25/2019 at Noon
I’m concerned about my 37-year-old daughter. She is always going on diets, losing a lot of weight, then over-eating and putting it back on again. Of course, I can’t tell her what to do, but I’m worried about the impact on her health. Well, if truth be told, I’ve done something like this myself from time to time, fighting to lose just 10 pounds to my ideal weight. But she goes to extremes like purging or eating only five types of food for two months. When she can’t keep it up, she reverts to eating like before, and the weight comes back on. You are a life coach, have you run into this before?
Signed: Worried for my daughter
You are right to be concerned, and also right that you can’t tell her what to do. This diet lifestyle will take a terrible toll on her health. Yes, I’ve run into this before. The big revelation is the weight yo-yo is not really about the pounds on the scale, or having to buy a size up, it’s really about relationship with self.
When we stop and think about it, we have many reasons for eating more than we need.
Social interactions with friends and around business
Lack of awareness of our own full bellies
Stuffing or using food to mask emotions like loneliness, anger, sadness
Denial of consequences
Rebellion and control
To conquer this challenge, we need to take several steps.
- Personal, internal research to help us understand our “why.” As a coach, I’ve learned this research is vital to long-term and positive shifts in a client. Otherwise, it is like an emergency room doctor putting a band-aid on a broken bone. Useless. Success is looking at yourself in a mirror while naked, and, feeling love.
- Determine how much we ought to weigh. The National Institute of Health has a chart that gives a clear range of height, weight and BMI [Body Mass Index is the measure of weight in relation to height]. https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmi_tbl.pdf
We can now understand what is normal, overweight, obese, extreme obesity. It shows us a range of weights for our height. An example is someone who is 5’8” or 68” has a range of 125 to 158 to be in the “normal” range, but lands in the “overweight” group at 165.
- Decide what weight we’ll choose to target within our “normal” range and subtract to find out how much we are off our target.
- Make this healthy weight a target of our burning desire. One coaching technique I use is to write an affirmation on an index card and look at it every morning and night.
- Retrain our brain and our mouth to use the phrase “dismissing weight” instead of “losing weight.” Psychologically, we try to find what we lose. It’s human nature!
- Make a plan, an eating and exercise plan. Put it in writing or you will fail. An old teacher of mine once told me, “If what you are doing isn’t working, do anything else but what you are doing.” Wise advice even when applied to eating. We all know how to eat fewer calories than we consume, amp up our daily exercise and get rid of tempting foods in our homes.
Are you shocked to learn we typically lose a half a pound of bone and muscle mass each year, after age 50? And the average person gains a pound a year in fat. So, the average weight gain is about 1.5 pounds per year, and yes, it is fat. UNLESS we exercise and eat right.
Surprisingly, many of our actions are based on paradigms or patterns of behavior figured out since childhood. They are beliefs and connections that are not always right or good for us. In coaching we look at the patterns underneath undesired results and learn how to change them. One of my personal mottos is, “Change your mindset, change your life.” Just as a band-aid on a broken bone is useless, dieting without finding and shifting our root cause for extra pounds is useless.
“Live long and prosper” are words that echo in my heart since my first child was born. I was 43. It set me on the path of coaching. Coaching has given me free rein to learn everything I want to learn about anything and make a living by teaching it. I continue to study my Higher Power, money, freedom and wellness and longevity. The lessons don’t stop, and this work is deeply satisfying because I know by experience, they work.
How about dismissing 10 pounds? If you and your daughter are up for something effective, I’m teaching a six-week system on Being Lean. Joining the class with someone else is a great way to succeed because you motivate each other. This is 100% education and motivation. No products!
Fat is not inevitable. You can go on this journey into wellbeing by yourself, but you don’t have to. For more information or to enroll in the class just send email to email@example.com.
SharonAnn Hamilton, MBA, CFP®, MSFS is a Live-A-Beautiful-Life-Coach. She Blogs about Families, Business, Money, Retirement, God, Observations in Nature and the most recent BLOG, Pet Sitting at Home & Abroad at www.tinylessonsaboutmoney.com. She facilitates The Council for Women, a faith-based group of women professionals whose mission is education for empowering women who want to be in charge of their inheritance, estate, and retirement. Want more info? Write to: firstname.lastname@example.org