Mill Creek Beacon - Your Hometown News Source

The first noise was the worst, although I was asleep. This raises a sort of empirical question: If a horrific, tearing, crashing sound occurs outside your window and you’re unconscious, was it really a sound?

The second noise was confirmatory, which was my neighbor banging on my door the next morning.

He was just being neighborly, which we appreciated.

“Did you guys know the back of your house fell off last night?”

And so we threw empiricism out the window, although it’s possible the window is no longer there. Things tend to be crumbling lately.

We’re in a good mood about all of...