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OK, I’ll admit it right off the starting mark. I can’t stand the over-blown, over-exposed, over-anticipated ceremony marking the annual pilgrimage of the world’s greatest “stars” to Hollywood.

What do they do there? They give themselves awards. And for what?

An actor, by definition, reads words written by someone else. What is so noteworthy or difficult about that? I learned to read when I was 3 years old. And no one has given me an award for reading out loud.

But here is what I truly despise about the Academy Awards. While actors can usually gracefully pretend to become someon...