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I should just take the week off. I don’t know anything about Halloween. Apparently I was sick the day they explained it.

I understand the basics. I remember some fun Halloweens as a kid, going trick-or-treating as Zorro, as Superman, as a robot, and probably a couple of times as a culturally appropriated stereotype that these days would seem rude.

It was a childhood thing, and there was candy.

And one day I stopped, the way I stopped putting teeth under my pillow and expecting quarters. The way I stopped writing letters to Santa. The way I stopped being in the fourth grade.

I relived it w...